HE'S HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE’S HOME!!!!!!!!!!! sweet readers, there aren’t words for how excited i’ve been to write those exact words. as many of you have likely noticed, ryan has been deployed for the past six months. it has been an incredible season for our little family.

it has also been really challenging not to share with you on this space. for his safety, and out of respect for his mission, as well as for Ellie & my safety, we made the decision not to post about the deployment on t&f or social media until he was safely home. we made this decision with great care and hope you can understand why.

that said, I’ve been writing posts about our experience the entire time he’s been gone. I wanted to write them as they happened, so they would be as authentic and honest as possible. I have those posts lined up for the next few weeks and am so excited to share them with you. as Ellie & I spend time with our amazing husband/dad, we hope you will read about this season of life we’ve just come through.

I do want to be really clear about a few things before we dive in – these posts ONLY represent our family’s experience on this deployment. they do not speak for military families, Navy families, or even our family in a future deployment. I’m quite certain even another family in Ryan’s squadron who just went through this exact deployment would have very different things to say about these same things – it’s really important we all understand that every deployment and every family is different.

what this means is, if you are a military family, I hope you find things that resonate with you, or even one small thing in these posts would be helpful to you, but I also know I have a lot to learn from you – and that your experiences have given you a different perspective. and if you are a civilian, I’m so grateful if you take the time to read these posts and try to understand what it’s like for a military family to go through a deployment. It means so much and I honestly think the future of our military depends on more civilians really engaging with and supporting military families. that said, please be careful if you have other military families in your life – know that reading these posts will not mean you understand what they’ve been through, it’s highly likely their experiences were quite difference. the branch of military (Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force) means dramatically different length of deployments, communication capacities during deployment, levels of danger,  and communities of support – the continuum is quite broad.

my hope is these posts can be a prompt for some good questions, or deeper engagement on what a deployment really means, or for considering, in some new way, the service and sacrifice of those families, but reading these posts is not a substitute for actually going through one.

finally, I’ve worked really hard on these posts to ensure they are honest, authentic, and as vulnerable as I can be on such a public platform --- and to be honest, that’s nerve wracking on a lot of levels. this is an incredibly sensitive subject, not just for me, Ryan & Ellie, but for a lot of people – all I ask is that you’re respectful of that. please feel free to stop reading at any point, I will understand. if you disagree strongly, you are fully entitled to your opinion, but please remember how your words will affect others in the comments section. Because Ellie & I will be focused on spending as much time with Ryan as possible, I’m not going to be able to closely monitor the comments & ask you keep this a kind place.

with all those disclaimers (thank you for hanging with me!) I’m excited to dive in! the upcoming posts will cover the story of this deployment for our family, some of the really practical things we learned along the way, and a really important acknowledgement of the friends & family who walked with us through this season.

for now, we're going to welcome Ryan home -- today!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. i'll be on instagram from time to time documenting our family of three together in the coming weeks -- feel free to follow me at tulipsandflightsuits or here!

so proud.

 

i'm incredibly proud of my husband & his decision to serve in the navy. (it's where the flightsuit in tulips & flightsuits comes from!) there are some moments when it really hits home & one of those was on friday. his squadron had a change of command ceremony -- a longheld navy tradition -- that was truly moving.

i felt so blessed to be in the hanger that day -- the sight of the enormous American flag, the helicopters outside the door & the entire squadron standing at attention was truly incredible. i hope these photos begin to capture that day.

so thankful to all who serve.

santa & his helicopter!

saturday morning, we went to ryan's squadron for the kid's christmas party. it was such a wonderful event -- especially watching santa fly in on a helo & all the kid's faces (i think i was as excited as they were!). can't wait to take our little girl next christmas.

in other news, holy moly, can you believe my 39 week bump? just a little different than things were at 20 or 32 weeks!

quick hello!

 

 

hello! sorry life has been such a zoo & posting has been light. i wanted to drop in & say a quick hello & share these photos from last weekend!

saturday night we went to the local baseball game, where ryan's squadron & another one flew in a navy SEAL team to the baseball park, and then an American flag as we sang the national anthem. there are moments when ryan's service hits me harder than others, and saturday night was just so, so incredible. i feel so blessed to do life with him.

and, it was a gorgeous night at the ballpark, complete with every pregnant lady's dream foods: snow cones! nachos! soft pretzels! i had all three. i just spaced them out across the innings (baseball games are long!). plus, it's the first photo of the two of us in MONTHS. i promise the baby bump is there & will post photos soon. can't believe i'm already 17 weeks!

much more soon, have been working on some fun posts! xo

the two times i almost passed out.

a few of you gave me some encouragement to write a little more about being a military wife & i decided this might be the perfect time to tell you about the two times it almost made me pass out:

time #1: when ryan & i were engaged, i started spending a lot more time in pensacola. it also happened to be summer & as many of you know, summer on the gulf coast is H-OT. ryan also was at a critical point of his flight training and had to memorize an absurd number of emergency procedures word for word. so, one saturday, we were en route to the beach, driving on this gorgeous, winding road & i was quizzing him. this involved me reading along while he rattled off that particular emergency procedure. many of them were harmless enough, a warning light, etc. then we got to the doozies. engine failure. engine fire. and he started saying things like "point the aircraft towards an unpopulated area..." & "bail out..." after one, i guess i had gotten particularly quiet. he looks over to see me as white as a ghost & about ready to lose my lunch. here's the thing: i'm a REALLY empathetic person. i pass out most times i walk in a hospital. & i think i was picturing him in every one of these scenarios & was so focused on helping him learn, i didn't realize i was getting really light headed. (side note - ryan also got a big kick out of how many times i could tell him "good job!!!" during one emergency procedure -- let's say it was a tad bit different than how his instructors responded). so, ryan pulled over, got me some water & we decided to not do those particular procedures for a while. especially while driving in 100 degree weather on winding roads.

time #2: ryan got back from some pretty intense survival training this weekend. we needed to have some follow up conversations about things i needed to know if we had to go through some worst case scenarios. so, bless his heart, he decides to do this while we're sitting at california pizza kitchen having a late lunch. i'm playing it cool at first, listening, asking questions & then something clicked. my ghost face came back & i just looked at him and said, "do you want the whole pizza that badly?!" we laughed and tabled that conversation for non-meal times.

so, i had this little internal monologue going as i was typing these two stories. it was saying things like "gosh, you're a wuss. there are military wives that have had it LOTS tougher -- like how about 12 month deployments?!" or "i bet most wives don't even blink at these things," but then another voice said, "write it anyway. even if it only means something to one reader, it's worth it."

and here's why: people say to me all the time they "don't know how i do it" or "could never be a military wife" & it always makes me smile. i didn't have a life plan to marry someone in the military. i didn't wake up one morning and say, "you know what, I'm tough enough, let's go find a navy pilot to marry." i did what everyone else does, i met someone and couldn't imagine my life without them. i knew he was EXACTLY who i wanted to go through life with. and, he happened to have committed a lot of years to the navy. he's been active duty military the whole time i've known him. some of you have married people who are doctors or nurses or pastors or firemen or graduate students -- and all of those have consequences. whether it's student loans or a call schedule you can't control or never really being "off duty." i didn't get some special super power when i married ryan & there are LOTS of days when i don't feel tough enough or strong enough, but i believe we're given the strength we need & that this is exactly where i'm supposed to be.

so, for those of you who are thinking you might be a military spouse soon or who already are & doubt, on a regular basis, you're tough enough, i know exactly what you mean. that said, so far it's only made me almost pass out twice & the joys have FAR outweighed the trials.

ryan has a really cool job.

 

 

and i'm so, so proud of him. (he is actually flying the helo in these photos!!)

yeah husband!

yesterday, ryan qualified in the SH-60 seahawk helicopter. in the time i've known him he has gotten his service selection for pilot, graduated from the academy, completed API, did primary training, selected for helos, got promoted, completed advanced, earned his wings & now is qualified in this awesome helo. i've seen the countless hours, early mornings, incredibly high expectations, blood, sweat & tears that have gone into this -- i'm so, so proud of him.

so, we celebrated with some red velvet cake (his fav) & i gave him a bottle of basil hayden bourbon to commemorate the day. i'm a big fan of un-birthday cakes (my favorites are here & here). they're boxed cakes, most often thrown together last minute, but they matter & are an appropriate response to big moments in everyday life. this one totally unintentionally ended up being red, white & blue! we then went to grab pizza and make a lowes run, because that's what a ryan night looks like & he deserved it.

*NATOPS is the name of what he completed to qualify :)

deployments.

we're getting close to a season in life when ryan could deploy. for obvious reasons, it will never be something i talk about on tulips & flightsuits until he is home (& hopefully i have some good stories to share/thoughts on being a military wife!)

if i know you in real life & you would like updates on deployments & how we are doing, please send me an email (tulipsandflightsuits@gmail.com) & i'll keep a list for when that time comes. i'll also likely be doing a fair amount of traveling & would love to visit you! (like how i just casually invited myself? :)

p.s. i will totally be making this awesome cake for a homecoming someday. xo

first year as a navy wife.

i've mentioned before that me being a military wife was far from am obvious conclusion. i'm scared of guns, loud noises, and men in uniform. i had all the respect in the world for the men & women who were brave enough to put on the uniform and serve their country and was incredibly proud of my grandfather who served in the navy in WWII, but it was not a part of my daily life. then, i meet this amazing guy who decided at 17 he wanted to serve his country, endured four years at the naval academy (no walk in the park), two years of rigorous flight training, and now has an eight year commitment to the navy. i couldn't imagine my life without him, and that meant i couldn't imagine my life without the navy.

i wish i had a neat and tidy lesson from this year of being a navy wife and my path here, but instead, all i have are stories:

when ryan & i started dating, he was in his last year at the naval academy. i will never forget my first time there and walking around thinking "i didn't even know this world existed!!" i was struck a hundred times by how different his college experience was from mine (he was behind a gate all week, every week; had to run 10 miles in the dead of winter with a 40 pound pack on his back ... need i keep going?) i would sometimes drive out to the academy in the middle of week from d.c. to bring him pizza or pumpkin bread and beyond falling in love with him, i was just so grateful he would go through all this to keep us safe. 

Click to read more ...

on the road again.

the movers are here and soon we will be saying goodbye to pensacola and be on the road to virginia. we can hardly wait to make norfolk our home, but at the same time, we began our marriage here and this florida town has weaseled its way into our hearts.

i have some LOVELY guest posts lined up for the end of the week to inspire you with their thoughts on what makes a home. AND we're having the first ever giveaway on t&f -- you don't want to miss it!! and next week, i'll be back to share our new digs (eek!) thanks for being such an encouragement on this journey -- it means so much.

p.s. an amazing t&f reader told me about these ADORABLE "we've moved" cards that are totally DIY!