below are the two letters i wrote ellie on the eve of each of ryan's homecomings -- while these are meant for her, an exchange between a mother & a daughter -- i'm working to grow braver & kinder about how i share in this space -- as glennon would say, to be a reckless truth teller, because each of our truth matters and gives us the best chance to know each other.
As I sit here, on the last night of our first deployment – yours and mine – I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that you’ve been my companion for the past six months. It took me 28 years to grow brave enough to face a deployment, and it took you only four short months. While many people would say you are a baby, and so it’s hard to imagine you could actually have these qualities – I know for certain you are strong and brave and loving and kind and intuitive and bright spirited. I know because they seem to be at the core of who you are – the way you wake up every morning, greet each new experience, and interact with others. Certainly, over the course of these six months you went from baby, to little person – showing so much of your personality and spirit. Your daddy and I are so beyond grateful for all the ways you strengthened Team Yonkman during this time.