gift giving: registry vs. personal

 

today's post is another wonderful reader question!

"My best friend is getting married, and I'm her MOH. The shower is in a few weeks, and I'm struggling with the registry vs off the registry gift question. Was wondering if you had any brilliant/cute ideas that you've either given or received? just want it to be really special for her."

my two cents:

so, i'm a big registry fan. i know it feels like the equivalent of giving a gift certificate & totally unoriginal, but it's not. the couple has taken time to select the things they want to begin their married life with or what they think will help them best welcome their little one & you're helping them piece that life together. i came to this realization after getting married, and now feel even this is more true with baby gifts (i have a gazillion outfits for her, and yet didn't have a humdifier or a bottle....) -- but that said, like any rule, it's meant to be broken.

so, if you know something they'd love and that no one else would know to get them, that's super thoughtful, then go for it! some of my favorite personal gifts are: a calligraphy copy of a reading they chose for their wedding (contact your favorite calligrapher for a price quote), a gift certificate to an awesome restaurant for a date night in their newlywed days, or something they can do on their honeymoon (massages, zip line etc.). i think especially when you're in the wedding, it's neat to add a personal touch. one of my bridesmaids got me these amazing mugs & dessert plates with our initials & wedding date! (they totally matched our rehearsal dinner invites!)

another way is to combine the two: so, get them their bowls off their registry, and enclose your favorite soup recipe. or do a place setting & then some monogram napkins.

sweet readers, what do you think?

p.s. click on images for links!

Comments

[Alison]

I'm with you - I always preferred getting registry gifts (for wedding and baby) and so now, I always give from the registry. Always!

[jen]

i usually always give from the registry, even if it's something a little boring compared to all the cute baby clothes they will get! i also feel that the couple has spent time creating the registry and obvioulsy need that stuff. i had a friend give me the lanisoh breast pads and cream as part of a baby shower present - not the most glamourous gift but something i would have never thought to buy as a new mom, and they were much needed!

[Allison Hasel]

After my own wedding and all of the hand-wringing and contemplating we put into choosing our registry items, I really appreciate when people give from the registry. That said, I agree that a really close friend or family member is the exception to the rule. My cousin and aunt bought me a beautiful set of Christmas ornaments and I think of them every year when I put them on our tree! I really like your idea of combining the two if people want to get creative.

As far as babies go, I haven't had one yet, but I can imagine I'd feel the same way. However, my standard baby gift is a few smaller items from the registry plus baby's first denim jeans/overall/jacket and a Manhattan Whoozit. All babies seem to love that toy – which I first spied on Sex and the City!