answer: get home ritual.
do you and Ryan have a special hello ritual when you get home from work every day?
i can't tell you how much fun it has been to answer your questions! this one instantly had me grinning from ear to ear, because I'd never thought about it, but we totally do. and it's so simple: we live in an old house, so I can always hear when Ryan is unlocking the door. i'm usually upstairs in the office working & as soon as I hear that sound, I jump up and run downstairs. "husband! husband!" (this has grown from "fiance! fiance!") & he drops his flight gear & gives me a huge hug. (it's really bad that every analogy for what this is like involved a puppy or a 4 year old...) i usually have something i've can't wait to tell him (or a run down of my whole day...) so i immediately launch into a story.
i once heard ryan describe this time to my mom like having a little bottle rocket bouncing off the walls (& that he loved it, which is probably why we're married). so the cool thing about this simple question & moment in our day is that it says so much about our marriage. one of the things i learned (the hard way) is that it's really important to know beyond food, shelter & oxygen, what do you need? it's especially important to know before you decide to spend the rest of your life with someone, because those things have to matter to them too. for one of my friends, it's coffee in the morning & a glass of wine at night. for another, it's traveling. for another, it's being super involved wherever she is. these are things that make them who they are & if you took it away from them, it wouldn't work. for me, one of them is being able to talk about my day. growing up, i'd come through the back door after school & immediately need about 20 minutes of solid listening from my mom. it's like my day hasn't happened until i process it aloud. when i got to college, my sweet friend ash took on this role. & now it's ryan -- he is so good at it. the other detail of this moment in our day is ryan comes home in a flightsuit & dog tags, not a suit & tie. when we got married, this hit me pretty hard. & i still cherish it.
above photo is of our entry way at christmas! thanks for the WONDERFUL question, katie!
married life Tuesday, January 25, 2011 at 8:00AM
Reader Comments (4)
Oh, so cute! It's funny you mention how hard it is to avoid the puppy analogy. When we took pre-cana, our teacher talked about the importance of the welcome home ritual. He said during a difficult time in his own marriage, he and his wife had rather lackluster hellos and sometimes wouldn't even get up off the couch to say hi, even though the dog would be spinning in circles with joy. Finally, without mentioning it to him, his wife had the idea to out-do the dog whenever her husband came home. He said the first day this happened, he about fell over laughing at the sight of his wife jumping up and down with glee and shaking her booty like the dog's tail. Since then, I've always wondered about people's hello rituals- thanks for sharing yours!
my goodness mar! i love this! its seriously almost brought tears to my eyes and i love that ryan has you to welcome him home at the end of the day like this. i'm sure it truly is his highlight, you little bottle rocket;].
Hey----I got a shout out!! Love it!! Thanks Mare!
I love this question and your answer!! Thanks for sharing and for making the point about knowing what you need every day. I love hearing little bits of marriage wisdom, it makes me look forward to being married so much!