so pretty.

every now and then i love to bring up something and write a little (then wait patiently for your thoughts!) as you have no doubt guessed, i'm still figuring out what tulips & flight suits is "about." last time, i wrote about why i think visiting friends is so important (even when it stretches your budget).

today, i'd love to throw something out there i think about a lot. i think, we, as women, miss a lot of chances to affirm one another. something has shifted in how we grow up to where young girls feel more pressure than ever to look "a certain way," and instead of helping one another navigate these waters, affirming beauty in all its forms, and being a voice in one another's life that genuinely says "you're so pretty" when that girl feels it the least, we miss those opportunities.

my heart aches when i walk past a group of teenage girls in the mall and can almost feel the judgement that surrounds them. my heart breaks when i see a young girl on a date who looks gorgeous, and yet has this desperate look of anxiety on her face. on the other side, i love it when i see a young girl so comfortable with her sense of style, so confident in the beauty she's found within. my heart is warmed when i see friendships that can be such a source of affirmation when the world always wants something else.

i know in my own life, i've missed countless opportunities to tell friends i can literally see them glowing from a new found career that holds so much meaning, or how much i love the new sense of style they've grown into because of a city they've made home, or just how gosh darn pretty that new skirt is. these can all be very surface level on one hand, but when we aren't affirmed, i think it goes much deeper. on the flip side, i have friends who are so good at affirmation. if i ask about a mutual friend, the first thing they'll say is "she looked so great. she just seems like she's in such a good place." if they're telling me, i know they told her, and my hunch is, it meant a lot.

i'm in the middle of writing a speech to a group of amazing young women (more on that when it's finished) and i can't stop thinking about how as accomplished as these young women are and as much potential as each one of them holds, they no doubt have all felt what i'm talking about. i know i have. and in a non-cheesy way, i wonder how our generation of women (who has more expectations than ever before placed upon us) will define what it means to live this out.

i'd really, really love your thoughts.

p.s. i love this image and can't remember for the life of me where i found it, please comment if you know!

Comments

[Stirling McDavid]

Mary, what an awesome thought. My yoga teacher challenged us to think about this yesterday. I don't have many articulate thoughts to share, but I wanted to share a story about a friend of mine, who is indeed one of those people who is SO good at affirmation of others. After recovering from an eating disorder, she and I were chatting one day and I was talking about what I think about when I look at others - at that time (and still to some extent), I mostly noticed weight/physique. I explained that I always noticed even the slightest changes in others' weight and asked her if she had seen "so and so" and how skinny they'd gotten!? She replied, "You know, I never really notice that in people." A simple thought indeed, but those words have stuck with me for years and have challenged me so much. If she didn't notice that, what did she notice? And what a relief that she didn't notice that - if she didn't notice it, perhaps others didn't - and perhaps I could grow into a perspective by which I didn't notice it either, but rather noticed other qualities, such as glow or radiance. Anywho, there's my thought on this subject. Your blog has been such a blessing to me. As a fellow newlywed, young, working, Christian, broken, sinner, woman, I can relate to your posts so well. God bless you!