visit friends.
from the survey and wonderful email/comments i get from so many of you, i know a lot of my readers are women in their twenties. my guess is a lot of us are trying to figure out how we balance our jobs/relationships/well being/family/loves? and if you're anything like me, it's hard. i love showing you pretty/creative things on t&f, but i also love the sparks of dialogue around "bigger" things. this weekend, i was thinking about how important it is to visit friends where they are.
ok, this is a tad wordy, hang with me :) ...
tangent: in college, i heard a lecture by a professor on financial decision making after college. he did all the usuals: don't buy anything that depreciates in value (like a boat), don't get in credit card debt, make a budget, live beneath your means, etc. and then the last tenant of his speech was: go into debt to be at friend's weddings. he said that it was worth it because that's not something you're going to be able to do when you're 40 and financially secure. it really stuck with me. i'd add to it, make a big budget priority to visit friends.
here's why: as we make friends it different chapters in life, they scatter to the wind. the ten women in my wedding live in: atlanta, denver, charlottesville, san francisco, chapel hill, new orleans, dallas, boston, washington, dc and boise (that's almost comical - i just realized we're in 11 different places - at least they're amazing places to visit! hi girls! ;) we email/text/blackberry message/send cards all the time, but there is nothing like being in their city. staying in their home. going to their neighborhood eateries. then, when i'm back to lame technology to communicate, i can picture it. i know the walk they're taking. i've been to their church. i've met that new friend. i've acknowledged their life in that place and i love it.
finally, if you're anything like ryan & me, that's the perfect vacation. we don't always have the money for airfare/gas AND hotel, so we can see dear friends, who we love going through life with, and only have to worry about one of those expenses (see my post on guest rooms here) you can't take these trips as often as you'd like, but i promise you there are few things that make me feel more balanced, present and loved all at once than going to visit a dear friend. and i know how much it means to me when they do the same.
what are your thoughts?
big ideas Monday, June 14, 2010 at 2:25PM
Reader Comments (6)
love this mary! this rings very very true.
thank you SO SO much for this post. i'm struggling right now on this very issue. this fall, i'll enter grad school and i'm trying to save every penny i can. unfortunately, this transition falls during a summer with 8 wedding invitations and a best friend in texas who i haven't seen since february. i need my friends the most right now and you've set my priorities straight - what's another couple of hundred dollars when i'm about to put myself in grad school debt anyway right?! kayak, here i come! :)
aw shannon, so glad this post helped. i didn't meant at all to minimize how tough this can be financially, i just wanted to share how much making this a priority has impacted my life. enjoy those weddings and grad school!
So true! Thanks for the post - its easy to just think visits are "too expensive" and forget that they are worth every penny. I love your blog - I just moved in with my boyfriend and I love reading your take on newlywed life during our adjustment period.
amy, thanks so much for such a thoughtful response-- you put it much more succinctly than I did and i couldn't agree more. i definitely squeeze every penny out of them! so glad you're loving reading t&f during this time in your life, means a lot you said hello!
This could not be more important for anyone to see. Recently a best friend got married and I wouldnt have missed it for the world. Everyone there was amazed I had traveled 3,000 plus miles, spent the money, and not slept 36 hours just to make it home in time for the wedding but I wouldnt have missed it for the world. It was worth the exhaustion, time, and money. Now that I live 3,000 plus miles away from home I make it a point to travel home at least twice a year and when I do...visit my girlfriends each time.